Have you ever been upset with someone when they didn’t do what you expected them to do?
Perhaps you got a little worried when a client or a colleague didn’t respond to your email straight away? Or you got upset when a friend forgot to invite you to a social event? You may even have felt ignored when someone forgot to call you when they said they would.
Similarly, we can get disappointed when someone does something that we don’t expect them to do. Say your partner gives you a birthday present that is different from the one you wished for. Or some friends organise a party for you, even though you’ve repeatedly expressed that you (really!) don’t want a party.
What do you make it mean when this happens?
Quite often we interpret other people’s behaviours and actions as something that has everything to do with us. When it doesn’t.
It is then easy to create stories like:
“They don’t like me”
“I knew it! I’m not appreciated”
“Have I said or done something wrong?”
“I should have phrased it differently..”
You will find that most people are focused on themselves and what they need to do to get through their day. Sometimes this leads to a temporary memory lapse and they forget all about you. But the fact of the matter is: “It doesn’t mean that they don’t care” or are trying to ignore you.
So when you have a moment, take a step back and notice what thoughts you have created from other people’s actions or lack of actions.
Is it a fact or a story? Questioning ourselves is one of the best ways to get clarity.